Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
