i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
