Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
wow bdsm is so cute
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