but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
