Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
