How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I looked at my own cervix.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
