I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You are the jesus of drinking
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
