so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She bit a glass in half.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
