Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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