my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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