I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
