Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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