and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
