This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
