I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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