After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
