Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
