Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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