I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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