he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
