Please, let me fuck your mom
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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