I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
