just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
