whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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