They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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