thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
