You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
