I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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