I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
