:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
