dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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