Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
