some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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