im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
