Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
