So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
