when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
