I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
