idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
