two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
