hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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