i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
