HIV tests are more positive than that guy
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
