areolas are like halos for boobs.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
