Where is the hickey?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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