I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
