How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
