Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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