in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
