I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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