Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
