So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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