This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
