Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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